Xander's Television Log

05/08/2025

New Movie: Fight Club

	Finally saw this for the first time. I have so many thoughts
about this, but they are floating around in my head in non-corporeal
form, so I'm having a difficult time trying to write about it. The 
movie really kept any individual character from being too relatable. 
Everyone was insane. Each personality so over-the-top. This choice 
forces you to think deeply about why you feel a certain way about the 
movie and each character.

	I'm not saying that Fight Club is literally about me, BUT...
one thing I very much understand is having a cooler alter ego, who
represents the person you want to be and the way you wish you would 
act. This happened to me, there was a time before I was Xander. Also, a 
lot of aspects of this movie were all too familiar for anyone who is a 
member of a fraternity. Won't elaborate too much, but just think about 
it. The appeal to these men is not confusing at all for me.

	@bigassbug described it as "a man's movie", and I had heard 
that characterization in the past as well, so I will try to approach it
from this angle. I've heard the claim that testosterone makes one take 
things more seriously. It is also known that the lust for power is one 
of the vices of men. While this is true, the way that desire presents 
itself in me personally is more of a desire to be in the loop. I'm 
going to take a detour, but bear with me. When I was a kid I read the 
Percy Jackson series, and it made me depressed. I was depressed because 
in this series, Percy finds out that he is part of a bigger, more 
important world. In this world he gets a front row ticket to see the 
events in the universe that have real significance unfold. But all the 
normal, mortal people do not have any clue about any of this. They are 
civilians. They are oblivious to the fact that there is this whole 
community of people doing things that actually matter and affect the 
world existentially. And I read those books and realized that I am just 
a civilian. Of course I don't think that there are real greek gods, but 
there must be something out there. Some other world, some community 
that is doing things that really matter on a large scale. Some group of 
people making decisions and going on missions that affect things. And 
I'm not invited to it. I never got recruited into the secret society 
that has been guarding the world from evil, wherever it is. I'm 
oblivious. To be honest, this feeling has lingered in my life, and is 
the main reason that I am not very avid about reading or watching TV 
and movies. It doesn't really satisfy me to sit at home and read the 
story of someone ELSE's adventure, what I want is my own adventure. So 
I do have a desire for power, but that's more like a desire for access 
to the spaces where people do things that really affect the world. To 
have a seat at the table, with the rest of the real adults. And that is 
the true call of fight club. That was it, they found it! They found the 
secret society. They were finally involved in the REAL world, the 
secret world that was hidden from civilians. I reckon that this is 
exactly how real-life terrorist organizations get members too.